Publication Date: 01-24-2026

Baby Geniuses (1999) review

Dir. Bob Clark

By: Steve Pulaski

Rating: ★★

I’m aware there are a litany of acclaimed films, both classic and contemporary, that I’ve yet to watch. I need to get back to my weekly indulgence of Clark Gable pictures. I’m only about halfway through the AFI 100 list. And yet, I’m still the type of person to mosey into a Goodwill on a frigid Saturday afternoon, browse the array of DVDs, stumble upon something like Baby Geniuses, recall how I vaguely remember its theatrical release when I was a little boy, and bring it up to the counter to pay $1.99 for it as if I checked my pride at the store’s automatic doors.

This film is not as odious as its reputation suggests — pull that quote for the DVD instead of the dubious line from “BoxOffice,” which compares this film to a “live-action Rugrats.” I disagree with that neutral statement. Rugrats remains a beloved series by the millennials who watched it for a couple reasons. For starters, talking babies is a concept born for animation. Furthermore, episodes of the series were conceived with baby brains in mind. Half of the plots revolved around the babies pursuing something based on a misunderstanding, or a “fib” told by somebody like Angelica.

Baby Geniuses‘ first mistake was not being animated, but chief of all, this story would’ve been better served without a miserably complicated plot involving technology, corporate manipulation, and dueling families that render the titular stars indistinguishable tots. Occasionally one burps, or says a funny line like, “the caca’s coming in for a landing.” Alas, aside from mildly impressive “2D warping techniques,” which animated the babies’ mouths (with the help of syllables the babies uttered on-set), there’s not much here that renders these kids even a fraction as memorable as someone as the great Tommy Pickles.

Nonetheless, here it goes. Dr. Elena Kinder (Kathleen Turner) harbors the belief that babies can communicate with one another, and their mindless crayon doodles are actually messages in obscure languages. She believes in this theory, which draws on Tibetan mythology involving babies having a universal knowledge that dissolves upon being taught ways to be a functional human, enough to fund a secret lab, run by Christopher Lloyd.

Still with me? Well, the “genius” baby named Sly, whose identical twin brother is Whit (the two babies are played by triplets Leo, Gerry, and Myles Fitzgerald), escapes from the lab. Unaware of the existence of his brother Whit, who has been adopted by Peter MacNicol and Kim Cattrall (playing a woman hilariously named Robin Bobbins), Sly rounds up fellow babies to take down Dr. Kinder’s operation. Of course there’s Whit’s parents’ bumbling family janitor (Dom DeLuise, in a role that might’ve went to John Candy in another timeline) and moron teenage son (Kyle Howard) inserted in the plot for comedic relief. Allegedly.

Most of the attempts at humor are derived from babies doing very un-babyish things. At one point, Sly rocks a white suit and boogies to “Stayin’ Alive.” It’s a cringe-inducing sight. The funniest stuff comes when the babies converse with one another. Between them, it’s perfectly understandable English. To adults, it’s gibberish. At one point, in order to assume a disguise, Sly asks baby Lexi (Brianna and Brittany McConnell) for her clothes. “At least buy me dinner first,” she quips.

As senseless as it all is, Baby Geniuses never mortally offended me — impressive for a children’s film as universally despised as this one. Its cast, which also includes the great Ruby Dee, is surprisingly on-board with the silly material, and the babies, when they finally get their share of screentime, are amusing in their rambunctiousness. As stated, the effects wizardry is still damn impressive. The film was directed by Bob Clark, whose diverse filmography doesn’t get recognized as often as it should. This is the man who made both Black Christmas (1974) and A Christmas Story. In many ways, he laid the framework for raunchy comedies with Porky’s. And if you want a real deep cut, he was also behind the early-1970s gem Children Shouldn’t Play with Dead Things. Who can say what attracted him to the material? I got a feeling he was the type of guy who couldn’t risk playfully making faces at a child across the way while he dined at a restaurant.

One other random detail. Before ending with Sly breaking the fourth wall in his final line of dialog, a happy, loving montage plays. The song that plays over the sequence is a familiar voice. The country music fan in me was activated. It’s Randy Travis; the song is “Gift of Love.” From what I can discern, the song had to be made for the film, as it’s not on any of Travis’ albums (I checked), and wasn’t formally released on streaming platforms until 2014. It’s a great song. Talk about digging up bones.

My review of Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2

Starring: Leo Fitzgerald, Gerry Fitzgerald, Myles Fitzgerald, Pete MacNicol, Kim Cattrall, Kathleen Turner, Christopher Lloyd, Dom DeLuise, Kyle Howard, Ruby Dee, Brianna McConnell, Brittany McConnell, Gabrielle Robbins, Megan Robbins, Jacob Handy, Zachary Handy, Griffen Legget, Connor Legget, Amanda Fein, and Caitlin Fein. Directed by: Bob Clark.